To Live and Die (Not Literally) By the Sticker

This evening my daughter, who is four, was playing teacher.  She handed me a tiny sticker from her sticker collection.  "Here you go, sweetie," she said to me.  "This is for good behavior."  I took it from my "teacher's" fingertip and put it on the back of my hand, as most children do.  At first I thought it was adorable but then, call it a full moon or something in the water it broke my heart a little.  Both of my children, and indeed many of the children I work with, live and die, metaphorically speaking, by the sticker.  These children are fundamentally GOOD children.  Developmentally well-behaved, sweet, and likable.  Really, most children are or strive to be, would you agree?  Yet they fall all over themselves to get a sticker, a marble, or some other small token of good behavior-ness.  All this good behavior...for a sticker?  The Montessori philosophy does not believe in external rewards - all "rewards" should come from inside oneself and while this may be harder for kids to "get", I think it is achievable.  Certainly a child who feels good inside knows that their actions are worth more than a sticker?  Can a person be anti-sticker?  What do you think?  I welcome your musings.

Just Be...

Every once in a while I write a post about how I get into Keeping Up With The Joneses mode. With so many blogs featuring so many great ideas posted by so many Moms it's easy to feel like you're doing well, nothing. Last week it finally occurred to me (I'm a tad slow on the uptake) that whatever you do, you do. Your activities don't have to match the Jones' activities. Some families take road trips. You don't have to. Some Moms knit beautiful sweaters or create cozy quilts. You don't have to (that's what Etsy is for!). Some Moms maintain the sweetest blogs (with eh hem, regular updates). You don't have to. But last week, we had an fall picnic in our own backyard followed by Pip and Sprout making homemade Halloween decorations in front of a roaring fire. We did that. You don't have to. Life is not really a checklist. Sometimes it's just better to go with the flow.

We are reading a number of page-turners at our house. Green Husband cannot put down Devil in the White City which details "murder and mayhem" during the Chicago World's Fair of 1893. This book came highly recommended from Green Nana, Green Husband's MIL.

Green Husband so kindly and so thoughtfully picked up Donald Hall's Unpacking the Boxes. I am just now realizing that I have quite the large collection of works by Donald Hall and his wife, Jane Kenyon, including their wonderful interview on PBS with Bill Moyers.

For those of you in the mood for an extremely moving and beautiful book meant for the tween and teen set, Sharon Creech's Walk Two Moons is one of my new all time favorites.

Confession

We don't pray at bedtime in our house, but last night as I tucked Sprout into bed he said, "I love my mommy. I love my daddy. I love [aka Pip]. I love [daycare provider] L. I love Bella [cat one]. I love Cinderalla [cat two]. I love my family. I love my bed. I love my house. I love my pillows." If that is not a prayer of thanks and gratitude, I don't know what is.

Lately I had been consumed by the Wanna-Haves, not the Wanna-Greenies. I think part of it comes from living in such an affluent area and having [seemingly] affluent friends. They've never made me feel inferior, of course! That's not what I mean. But in subtle ways I know that we are living slightly below their income level! I also had been suffering from a bad case of the dreaded Grass is Always Greener syndrome. I work part-time; I want to work more part-time. I live in this city; I want to live in that city. I want to get a new job; I want to be a SAHM. I painted the living room Beeswax; I want to paint it Celery. And on and on and on. I am, however, pleased to announce that I have never wished for different children or for a different husband. ;)

I speak about the Wanna-Haves and the GIAG in the past tense because lately these thoughts have almost entirely disappeared. Don't get me wrong - I still oogle over the Ikea catalog and the thought of complete and total SAHM-dom, health insurance be damned, does flicker across my brain, but I have spent a peaceful weekend, if not one marked by sadness, enjoying what I have been given.

Here are a few links that have inspired me this past week.

Sara Janssen's photo sets that show you don't have to have a lot of space, things, or money to make a beautiful home.

A beautiful traditional Swedish song, Uti Vaar Hage that I first learned about by reading Heart's Delight by Per Nilsson.

As always, my favorite poem "Locking Yourself Out, Then Trying to Get Back In" by Raymond Carver.

And finally, Mary Beth at Salt and Chocolate, who is suffering along with her son, who inspires me by being such a wonderful mother. Mary Beth, even in these hard times, as my mother says, "Treat yourself good". And to her friend Carrie, who will no doubt provide any ounce of solace that a person can offer at a time like this.

Kids' Health 2008

Zoinks, there were a lot of comments about my comments post the other day. I tend to comment on "less popular" blogs, if that makes any sense {and no, that does not mean *your* blog is unpopular, my dear friends} - I mean I tend not to comment on blogs that receive dozens and dozens of comments. Dunno why. Also, sometimes I do not comment on blogs where the person responds regularly to my comment(s). Why? I feel like I'm "bothering" them, when sometimes their bloggy spirit has just moved me and I want to let them know. To make a long story short (too late!), I think the one reason I really appreciate comments is because it alerts me to more bloggy friends and the fabulous work they are doing, commented upon or not.

Due to the nature of my *real* job, I frequently access the website KidsHealth.org. I found interesting their list of the 10 Kids' Health Issues to Watch in 2008. Several of the issues to watch include those that we on the green parenting blogs have been chatting about for months if not years:


Keeping Child's Play Safe

A wave of toy recalls put new questions about toy safety — and the dangers of lead exposure — in the spotlight.

Food Allergies: Outlawing PB&J

As food allergies become more prevalent and more persistent among kids, the medical community is trying to find out why — and how to deal with the trend.


Battling the Superbug

Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) made frequent headlines as the so-called "superbug" and put the spotlight on the growing threat posed by drug-resistant bacteria.

Rethinking a Pill for Every Ill

New questions about the safety and effectiveness of cough and cold medicines marketed to kids put the spotlight on the fact that many of the medications marketed for kids have not been tested in children.

And while I haven't spent any time on this particular issue, oh, my breaking heart:

Lost Childhoods

For most kids, childhood is a time of playing, learning, and making friends. But in more than 20 countries, thousands of kids serve as soldiers on the front lines of brutal conflicts.

My children are so very lucky.

Deep Thoughts

Guess my "break" is over.

I couldn't stay away from you.

Which leads me to my question of the hour:

Would you blog if no one could leave comments? Not if no one *left* comments - I think we've all been there at one time or another - but if you say, disabled your reader(s)' ability to comment.

Discuss. In the comments. :)