We don't pray at bedtime in our house, but last night as I tucked Sprout into bed he said, "I love my mommy. I love my daddy. I love [aka Pip]. I love [daycare provider] L. I love Bella [cat one]. I love Cinderalla [cat two]. I love my family. I love my bed. I love my house. I love my pillows." If that is not a prayer of thanks and gratitude, I don't know what is.
Lately I had been consumed by the Wanna-Haves, not the Wanna-Greenies. I think part of it comes from living in such an affluent area and having [seemingly] affluent friends. They've never made me feel inferior, of course! That's not what I mean. But in subtle ways I know that we are living slightly below their income level! I also had been suffering from a bad case of the dreaded Grass is Always Greener syndrome. I work part-time; I want to work more part-time. I live in this city; I want to live in that city. I want to get a new job; I want to be a SAHM. I painted the living room Beeswax; I want to paint it Celery. And on and on and on. I am, however, pleased to announce that I have never wished for different children or for a different husband. ;)
I speak about the Wanna-Haves and the GIAG in the past tense because lately these thoughts have almost entirely disappeared. Don't get me wrong - I still oogle over the Ikea catalog and the thought of complete and total SAHM-dom, health insurance be damned, does flicker across my brain, but I have spent a peaceful weekend, if not one marked by sadness, enjoying what I have been given.
Here are a few links that have inspired me this past week.
Sara Janssen's photo sets that show you don't have to have a lot of space, things, or money to make a beautiful home.
A beautiful traditional Swedish song, Uti Vaar Hage that I first learned about by reading Heart's Delight by Per Nilsson.
As always, my favorite poem "Locking Yourself Out, Then Trying to Get Back In" by Raymond Carver.
And finally, Mary Beth at Salt and Chocolate, who is suffering along with her son, who inspires me by being such a wonderful mother. Mary Beth, even in these hard times, as my mother says, "Treat yourself good". And to her friend Carrie, who will no doubt provide any ounce of solace that a person can offer at a time like this.